Made up story of Raja and Rani over gtalk

Last day one of my good friend SC and I were chatting over gtalk and all of a sudden I wrote: -

Vaijayanta: ekdin...............

My friend SC wrote: -

SC: ekdin.......ekta grame ek raja chilo

Vaijayanta: shei rajar ekta rani chilo

SC: sei ranir ekta pa khora chilo

Vaijayanta: raja roj shei paye plaster kore dito

SC: raja tar mane doctor chilo

Vaijayanta: raja london theke mbbs frcs kore eshechilo

SC: london e rajar onek ku-kirti chilo

Vaijayanta: london e raja devdas er moto dress porto

SC: london e rajar girlfrnd e grame ese ranir pa bhenge diyechilo

Vaijayanta: raja.....tokhon oi gf ke chere....grame ranir kaache eshe thakte legechilo

SC: kintu rani rajar opor khepe gelo & she wanted to teach him alesson

Vaijayanta: rani raja ke ekta kuyo te thele fele diyechilo

SC: raja morer just age bolechilo......"ma kasam basnati! tujhe mein chorunga nahi!"

Vaijayanta: rajar bhoot eshe basanti ke roj raat 3 te te bhoi dekhato.......hau mau khau bole...........

SC: basantir gandho pau...

Vaijayanta: tarpor rani......o more bhooth hoye galo

SC: tarpor oi gf morlo tar por tara ekta circle e ghurte laglo

Vaijayanta: tinjone mile bhooth hoye bot gacher tolai nachte lago aar gailo....."isko laga dala to life jhingalala".....ekhane galpotir iti hoilo

SC: amar katahti phuralo nate gach ti muralo

Thus we created a story. I wonder this is how the stories of the modern day Saas Bahu Serials are created otherwise it difficult to believe how the dead characters of these soaps come alive after some days, again they die and again they come alive.

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Rising Commodity Prices

Impressed by the new advertisement on television AEGON Religare Pension Plan (see above) starring Irfan Khan, I thought of writing this post in my blog. 

First of all, let me write the prices of commodities that have been shown in the ad. It has been made to appear as if it has been fully shot at Kolkata and Irfan Khan’s impressive way of speaking made the ad really popular among masses.

In the ad, the price of Cooking Gas is Rs 1248/-, the cobbler charges Rs 60/- for a shoe polish, a tablet for headache is Rs 144/-. No it is not a joke. It will happen after twenty years and believe me it is really going to happen. Research has proved that cost of daily commodities have increased 20 times in the last 20 years.

So, the amount has been projected 20 times in 20 years. Deliberately the cost of cooking gas has been kept low because of the plan of massive use of the cooking gas in the next 2 decades.

What else might happen is: -

1) You board a bus the conductor might charge you Rs 80/- for a fare that costs Rs 4/- now.

2) You go to the multiplex cinema hall. They will charge you Rs 4000/- for a ticket that now costs Rs 200/- now.

3) You go to your office by cab which charges say Rs 300/- now will take Rs 6000/- after 20 years.

4) You go to the Amusement Park (Nicco Park); they charge you Rs 100/- for 5 rides now. After 20 years they will charge you Rs 2000/- for the same number of rides.

5) You pay for your son Rs 4000/- his school fees per month now, your son will need to pay for his son Rs 80,000 per month for his school fees.

6) You buy a trouser for Rs 1200/- now, it will cost Rs 24,000/- after 20 years and your Rs 1500/- official shirt will cost Rs 30,000/- then.

7) You go to the disc now and pay Rs 500/- per night dance for you and your partner. Then you will need to pay Rs 10,000/- per night for the same no of people.

8) You pay Rs 3000/- bill for a dinner at the most expensive restaurant at Park Street now for say 4 people. After 20 years, it would amount to Rs 60,000 for 4 people.

9) You pay Rs 2400/- for your electricity bills now. Then you will be paying Rs 48,000/- for your electricity bills.

10) Your post paid monthly bill for your cell phone amounts to Rs 800/- now and that would be amount to Rs 16,000/- then.

After reading this post, one question is bound strike your mind. Will my salary increase 20 times in the next 20 years? No one knows. It is only for time to answer.

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Shyama-Poka

It is because of these Shyma-Pokas we have to stay indoors after Durga Puja till and after Kali Puja. Those small queer insects slong with moths bite us everywhere during the night. Thus they cause irritation to our skin. In the daytime they are not seen anywhere but during the night they enter our homes, sits on lights, televisions and computer screens and make our life hell by stitting on our skin and biting us with a pin pricking sensation. These insects are called Shyama-Poka in Bengali. Shyama is the other name of Maa Kali and Poka are insects. It means those insects that can be seen just before Kali Puja. Hence the name. 

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Hilarious - Kal Chaudvi Ki Raat Thi

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Pluckth, Pluckth, Pluckth !!!

What is Pluckth by the way? Do you know? Did you ever hear such a sound? Did you ever try to hear it? I am sure many of you have heard it many times in your life time but no one knows about it and has never paid attention to it except Gaurav and me. We both are fans of the sound called "Pluckth". The term was invented by Gaurav. It is quite difficult to hear Pluckth for guys like us at such a young age. But luckily, many guys do hear them in many situations and conditions.

Pluckth is a sound that requires ruler, oil, fat, force, a positive and negative energy to react and a suitable environment to occur. It soothes the mind, the heart, the soul and the body. So it has turned out to be a heavenly sound for people throughout many generations.

Both Gaurav and I felt that we could hear the sound Pluckth at New Town last month, when we visited there and met one of the source (MotaSush) of the heavenly sound Pluckth. But we unfortunately could not arrange for a suitable environment and the source of the sound Pluckth. But we are sure we will be able to hear it soon from various other sources. Lets see, when the golden moment arrives for us. Eagerly waiting for the moment.

Pluckth, Pluckth, Pluckth !!!

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LAW OF THE JUNGLE

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger that looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nike.

His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"

"I don't have to run faster than that tiger", his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".

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Chakar Hawa na Batash?

Last day I was travelling in an auto back to home from office when a funny incident occurred. I should narrate the incident in Bengali otherwise the fun-factor will not be clear.

2 middle aged couples arrived to the auto where I was sitting, and the auto driver requested me to come and sit on his right. I did so. The 1st couple and the wife of the 2nd couple were sitting on the back seat and the husband of the 2nd couple was sitting on the auto driver’s left. This is what that had happened after that: -

We were going towards our destination (Lotus Cinema) and on the way: -

Auto driver (to the man to his right): Dada ektu dekhun to, hawa aache kina?
The man (swayed his hand on the air to his left and yelled): Na dada, ja garom poreche, ekdom hawa nei.

I understood what the auto driver meant by that, but I kept quite and enjoyed what was going on there.

Auto driver (silent for about 15 seconds in his mind): Se abar ki? Garom-er saathe chakar hawar ki somporko…?
Auto driver (to the man): Na dada, ami shei hawa-r kotha bolini. Ami aapnake chakar hawa aache kina dekhte bollam.
The man (in shame): Oh ho, ami bhablam aapni onno kichu.

The whole conversation went on so quickly and seriously that to this all four people, the auto driver and me burst out into laughter. I thought that there was Mirakkel at 9.30 pm that night but here in the auto I had a trailer of Mirakkel at 8.30 pm.

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A Puzzle of Love

Some weeks back, I was asked by one of my friend to solve a puzzle sent to him by his girlfriend. I solved it in 2 minutes and received warm accolades from that friend of mine.

The puzzle said: -

"The word "limonyihwiuoteva" if arranged properly becomes a phrase that has the word Love in it. Rest are for you to solve."

So what I did was: -

(limonyihwiuoteva - love = imnyihwiuota)
or (imnyihwiuota - you = imnihwita)
or (imnihwita - with = imnia)
or (imnia - i = mnia)
or (mnia - in = ma (or am))

So the sentence is: -
(i am in love with you)

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ICSE & ISC - Funny Facts - Fun-jayanta 00002

Some Funny Facts regarding ICSE and ISC Exam from Kolkata: -

1) The Topper of ICSE / ISC Exam in Kolkata has to be from any one of the schools: -
(i) La Martiniere for Boys
(ii) St Xaviers Collegiate School
(iii) Don Bosco Park Circus

2) The Topper of ICSE / ISC Exam in Kolkata among females has to be from
(i) La Martiniere for Girls
(ii) Calcutta Girls High School
(iii) Pratt Memorial School

3) The name of the Topper from La Martiniere for Girls has to be "Pooja" or "Priyanka" and the surname had to be "Agarwal". If not so, one of the Toppers in the school has to be an "Agarwal".

4) The average result of the girls has to be better than the average results of the boys in the Exam.

5) The Topper has to secure more than 96% and sometimes it might reach 99% that proves the the Topper has made no mistake in all the 10 -12 Exams, which is unbelievable.

6) The Topper among girls has to take admission after ISC to St Xaviers Kolkata if she is a Commerce student, BITS Pilani if she is a Science student or St Stephens College Delhi, if she is an Arts student.

LONG LIVE ICSE AND ISC RESULTS !!!

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What? If …

What would happen if some of our famous films ended in a different way?
Hindi
· Kal Ho Na Ho – Suppose, SRK had faked his death in Kal Ho Na Ho. Actually he deliberately disappeared from the lives of Preity Zinta and Saif Ali Khan because he hated that Preity (the fat lady, who sucks) like anything. He might have gone to India and married the hot Sonali Bendre only to return after 25 years to see that Saif and Preity had a 24 year old girl child. Then he would have told them about his plot. LOL.

· Kuch Kuch Hota Hai – Suppose SRK at the end of the film confesses to Kajol that he realised after his marriage to Rani, that he was actually in love with Kajol and to get her back in his life, he had got Rani Mukherjee murdered by Salman Khan and for this he paid Salman Khan few crore rupees. He also made Salman woo Kajol back to his life and made him marry his daughter Anjali (that child actress) so that SRK and Kajol can life happily ever after. LOL.

· Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna – SRK was married to Preity and Abhishek was married to Rani. SRK falls in love with Rani and they get married. Abhishek also falls for Preity and again both get married. But no, they do not happily live ever after. They again feel for their original partners and again come back to them. Again after a year they feel for their fake partners and again go back to them. Then all the four sit in a round table conference with Karan Johar, Big-B and Kiron Kher as the jury members. Thus an agreement is signed where swapping of partners is made legal and a Rule is made where SRK and Preity can stay together and Abhishek and Rani can stay together for a year. Again in the next year SRK and Rani can stay together while Abhishek and Preity can stay together. Seeing the adultery of their children Big-B and Kiron Kher plans to stay together with SRK and Preity’s child by claiming the child as their own. They child seeing so much adultery in such a young age plans to marry the daughter of Big-B and Kiron Kher or the daughter of SRK-Rani or SRK-Preity or Abhishek-Rani or Abhishek-Preity which ever comes out first. Thus the child looses all his senses. LOL.

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Post No: 98th post

Fun-jayanta 00001 - Some Jokes

1) What would you call the male version of Ma hi ma Chowdhury?
Ans) Baap - Hi - Baap Chowdhury

2) There was one politician who couldn't understand why every footballer was fighting for the same ball. So he suggested that every player be given a seperate ball for the match. LOL.

Sweet Project Manager

It happened such that in some Software Company (XYZ Pvt Ltd), the Director (Mr. XX) recruited his brother (Mr. AA) to be one of the Project Managers. The brother Mr AA before joining this company had a sweet shop (mishtir dokan / mithai ki dukaan) and he did not know anything related to software. His sweet shop was closed due to some unknown reasons. Still he was appointed the Manager due to brotherly compassion by the Director Mr. XX.

Mr. AA did not have any software exposure because he was managing his sweet shop. He could understand anything related to sweets and nothing else. Whatever he told his subordinates, he made them understand citing examples from sweets and sweet shops. His subordinates came to understand this and if they wanted to make him understand anything related to software, they had to do so again citing examples from sweets and sweet shops. Otherwise he could not understand the concepts. So by now you can understand what and how much Mr. AA might have understood when relation between software and sweet shop was drawn to make him understand some software concepts.

Once it happened that a new candidate was to be interviewed and Mr. AA was asked to take his interview. As always, Mr. AA asked the guy, everything about sweets and their composition and their demand in the market. He even asked the guy, which sweets he liked, which sweet shops in Kolkata he liked and why he liked them. Just imagine, it was a interview of a software engineer and the guy was asked about sweets. This guy was really amazed seeing a Project Manager asking him about sweets and sweet shops. He was already fuming in disghust.

After a tight session of interview related to sweets and sweet shops to a software engineer, Mr AA asked the guy now tell me, “In what manner did you do your job in your last company?” The guy said, “I used classes and objects to do my job so that the coding is carried out in object oriented approach”. Mr AA understood this sentence in his own way and he replied, “Look Mr, you will have to sit with all other employees to do your work, we cannot provide you any class (read as cubicles or cells) or things like that to do your job in this company”. Hearing this, the guy was really ashamed seeing the knowledge of the recruiter regarding software. He left the room at once disgusted and irritated.